Refresh(ed).

A week ago I had the privilege to head down to Columbus. 

(Back Story)

I have quite a few things going on right now…life, school, marriage, 180 Youth Ministry, family situations and some other things, but that list will do.  In the midst of all of those things I lost joy.  I mean, I am incredibly excited about each and every one of those things…I chose to do those things…so it is not as though I do not want to do any of them, but it was just so much…

I lost joy.  I was attempting to keep my head just above the water…that is a lie.  I had one nostril above the water and was attempting to just breathe without taking in too much water.  My fiance has been quite the support.  She has not asked a ton of me even though we are getting married January 2nd, 2010.  My time with her has been much-needed and been very therapeutic because I know that I can say or ask anything and she will not judge me, but rather seek to help me move through whatever is going on.  So, there was some joy, just not much.

(Columbus)

I drove down to Columbus to play a show with some really good friends of mine.  I play bass in the band Old Alchemy.  We had a house show in the basement of our lead guitar player/singer’s house at OSU.  Another band played as well, they go by the name of Come Wind.  The guys in that band are very good friends of mine as well.  Come Wind played first.  They were so good.  Just amazing music from amazing guys.  We played right after them.  Our set was the best set we have ever played…at least I think so.  The basement was packed full of college kids just getting into what was going on that night, good music and good community. 

Some of us stayed the night in Columbus that night.  That was probably the most refreshing part, the show was very refreshing, but just getting to hang out and talk with some of my closest friends was just a blast.  We were up until about 3:30 or 4.  Conversation ranged from homeless life in Alaska to compassion and Jesus to addictions.  You may say that it does not sound refreshing at all, but I disagree.  It was refreshing because I was given a better perspective on life, love, and God.  I was no longer just a college student, but a someone in society desiring to be productive and help others.  I got my joy back…

Come Wind

Old Alchemy

Bottom.

Some men die under the mountain just looking for gold…

Some die looking for a hand to hold…

This is taken from the song “At the Bottom” by a band with the name BrandNew.  This portion of the song really struck me because it is really a terrible thing that there are 6.6 BILLION people in the world and there are people who are alone.  I cannot understand why this is a reality and why it does not change.  I suppose that it comes down to selfishness; I am selfish.  I think that we all have this thing called a lifeboat…some have a bigger lifeboat than others.

I should explain what I mean by lifeboat…lifeboat:  it is the way in which we measure our worth or value and other people’s value.  Some people tend to surround themselves with people that they view as “below” them; this allows them to feel superior to the other people in the lifeboat.  Some people tend to have a lifeboat that has a revolving population; these people have only people in their lifeboat that benefit them and as soon as they stop benefitting them, they are thrown overboard.  Some people have multitudes of people in their lifeboat; these people would probably tend to recognize everyone in the lifeboat as human, as having value.  Just because someone in the lifeboat may not benefit them, these people hold the view that everyone is valuable to someone and that everyone has a purpose.

I am in the second category…my lifeboat is revolving.  I wish that I could say that it was the third, but it is not and I am not willing to lie about it.  There are times in which I can say that my lifeboat is in the third category, but those times are few and far between.  I am seeking to live life in this third category…no one should come to the end of their life and be alone…no one should be looking for a hand to hold.  This has to change…I have to change.

 

 

i am not my own…

iWorship.

Individual Worship.

This is what 180 has been working on. 

Individual Worship.

The most convicting thing that I have come across so far has been “dating” God.  A date is nothing more than setting a time and a place to meet with someone.  With that said, we have all dated our own family’s at some point in time…think dinner.  I have tried to make sure that I spent some time with God each day of my week, but I have not always spent time with God daily.  I find myself praying constantly during the day, but I do not find myself taking a specific time each day to meet with God and give him the time that he deserves. 

How would you determine how much time the God of the universe deserves?  

Seriously?

Work, fiancee, family, friends, school, hobbies, food, relaxation, sports…I have to have a life, right?  I mean, I have a blog to update too.

David somehow constantly praised God, morning to evening.  Day and night.  He meditated on God’s word. 

I decided that I would get up at 5:30 a.m. so that I could give God my “first fruits” and so that my mind would have something good to think about all day.  I must say that while I have not kept the 5:30 start time everyday, my days have been progressively better when I allow God the begining of my day.  I usually start with a Proverb of the day, then move on to a reading of my choice (Ezekiel for now), and then after work and sometime before bed I do my iWorship study. 

Ezekiel 36:26    A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.

Camp(ing).

I went camping a few weekends ago…it was for a bachelor party.  We decided to ride a tree down the Tuscarawas River.  Night came and we were not able to do it.  Morning came, and with a re-newed vigor, we triumphed.  Four of us successfully rode a mile and a half to two miles down the river on three trees tied together by string.  One of the trees we actually cut down that morning.  It was one of the best times that I have ever had with a group of guys. 

Last week I did a different form of camping…Youth Camp.  Over 250 students and leaders went to a camp in Michigan.  We had cabins that had air conditioning, we had showers, we had a lake, we had a buffet style meal three times a day…quite unlike the camping that I experienced the week or two prior…riding down the river on a tree.

Both experiences changed me.

Camping with those guys allowed me to get to know two of the five better than I had previously known them.  Both guys are extremely nice and very friendly.  I gained better relationships with both of them.  It was as though by getting to know them, that something inside me changed.  I do not know what it was that changed, but something changed. 

At camp, I know what changed.

At camp I become a follower of Christ.  Well, at least I am becoming a follower of Christ.  I accepted Christ when I was younger and did what I was supposed to do.  If you read this blog, you will notice that I have been questioning things that I have learned over those years and am re-evaluating my faith and how it works.  Last week I came face to face with what I was looking for.  I was looking for a life in which I lived totally devoted to my faith in Christ.  I was looking for something bigger than me.  I was looking for a way to live for Christ daily.  I was looking for a way to leave self behind and take up my cross. 

I found it.

“It” is called Worship.

“It” allows me to enter into God’s court, “it” allows me come face to face with my God, “it” allows me to break free from what binds me.

Worship is nothing new to me, well it was nothing new to me until last week.  For a number of years I have been involved in different worship teams at my local church.  First in the youth group I attended, then in the “singles” ministry, and currently in the “big church” worship ministry and on the youth group team as leader.  I must confess that while being on these teams I have had times when I feel as though I was right there with God and times when I felt as though God were millions and millions of miles away.  I have been to the extreme of not caring what people think of me and to the extreme were I care way too much about what people think of me.  Guess when I felt close to God… 

The speaker spoke about a “Matrix Christianity” in which we accept things the way they are without seeking to further follow Christ because “this is how it is supposed to be…” and so on.  This is where my journey took me; to a camp in which I found myself in awe of what was being taught.  It was as though he was saying what I was thinking.  It was as though God decided to say to me that I was on the right path.  The path came to a divide.  Keep going through the motions, or wake up everyday and live a deeper, more authentic life in Christ.  Tough choice.  Really.

I could continue on the easy path or take the hard path.

Hard path it was/is.

Here we go…

(to be continued, my cold is back…darn you)

More.

Well here is the update that I promised in my last update…here it comes…

I have decided to accept an offer that was placed in front of me; to become the “leader” of 180 Noise…the senior high’s worship band.  My fiancee and I are assuming the role after camp this coming week. 

I am very excited because I love music.

I am very nervous because I am going to be the “leader” of a group of students and will have to make some tough decisions from time to time…I am also nervous because I have never done anything like this before…

I am very anxious because I really want to start right now, but I cannot…

With all the excitement surrounding this decision and the re-thinking of the decision after I gave the go-ahead on it, I must admit that I am sad to be leaving Xtreme (middle school ministry).  I really enjoy hanging out with those students and goofing off with them…

In other news:

One of my best friends is to be wed on saturday…the church is small, but that makes it all the better.  I could not be more excited for them…plus I am in it and I get to keep the clothes that we are wearing and we got TOMS…so cool.

God is good…God is love.

Update.

It is time for an update…like, a real post and not just a quote kind of an update.

It has been a while since I have posted, but I have my reasons:

1.  I am getting married on Jan. 2, 2010.  Lots of planning already done, just finalizing a few things…hopefully that will happen tomorrow so that the big stuff can be out of the way.  We are trying to get as much done as we can before I have to start school in the fall.

2.  I am assuming a new position in the youth…details to come later…

3.  I have a fiance that has had severe back issues.  She was in the emergency room becuase of those issues, so I figured that blogging could wait. 

4.  I am trying to limit the amount of “entertainment” that I consume a day.  I feel guilty about the time I spend watching television or sitting at my computer.  I need to read instead.  I know, I know that is still entertainment…but it is not of the electronic kind…

5. I decided, today, that I need to workout.  I just need to get in shape, a shape that is not round.

I am almost certain that the list I provided will smooth over the frustration that anyone would have with my lack of updates in the blogging world…all ten people that check out this blog that is. 

That is all for now…

I do not have anything else at this point in time that I need to convey and so it ends here.

God Is Love.

Alone.

Kurt Vonnegut:

What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.

Explanation.

To satisfy all of you who (the less than ten of you) who might have read my previous entry, I will explain it.

In my opinion the whole chapter is pretty incredible.  It is actually my new favorite chapter in the bible (replacing John 4).  I think that some of the ideas that can be gained from this chapter are without a doubt some of the coolest things that I have ever found in the bible. 

To start with, Jesus boldy states that the man who is blind is not blind because of his sin, nor the sins of his family.  I realize that some people have understood that sickness does not come from sin, but some people really do believe that sickness or disability comes from sin.  I think that I used to, a long time ago.  I do not think that I was directly taught or told that, but regardless I think that I inferred that people who were sick or disabled were being punished for some sin that they did or would do. 

Next: The man who was formerly the blind man goes and tells people that he is no longer blind and those people want to know what happened that made him become un-blind.  My thought would have been “Wow, that is so cool that you are not blind anymore, I don’t really care how as long as you can see,” but that is not the case.  His parents are asking him how it happened and he explains it.  The pharisees hear about it and inquire into how it happened as well.  They do not believe what the man says and continue to keep asking him how it is that he can see.  Eventually the man asks them if they want to be Jesus’ disciples because they keep asking him about the event.  The pharisees bascially decide that he is to be cast out of the church…they could not believe that this man could be healed on the sabbath by someone who claims to follow God (much less an equal with God).  After being cast out Jesus sees him and begins talking with him.  It is at this point that Jesus reveals himself to the man and the man begins to follow Jesus.  Incredible.

The one thing that I have taken away from this passage is: Every misconception that I have about God hinders my relationship with him.

If I believe God can only act in certain ways and that He cannot possibly do things that are unexpected by man, then I cease to have a complete view of God.  My view of God is tainted.  I begin to place God in a box and begin to think that I can carry Him around in my pocket and pull Him out whenever I need Him most.  It does not work that way.  God is always with me…God is bigger that anything that I can think of…God cannot be God if I can fit Him inside my head.  If I reduce God to the confines of my mind, God ceases to be God…I think that is the beauty of it all, the fact that I cannot fit God inside my head.

Opened.

 

 

John 9

 ¹And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.

 ²And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

 ³Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

 ⁴I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.

 ⁵As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.

 ⁶When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay,

 ⁷And said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam, (which is by interpretation, Sent.) He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing.

 ⁸The neighbours therefore, and they which before had seen him that he was blind, said, Is not this he that sat and begged?

 ⁹Some said, This is he: others said, He is like him: but he said, I am he.

 ¹⁰Therefore said they unto him, How were thine eyes opened?

 ¹¹He answered and said, A man that is called Jesus made clay, and anointed mine eyes, and said unto me, Go to the pool of Siloam, and wash: and I went and washed, and I received sight.

 ¹²Then said they unto him, Where is he? He said, I know not.

 ¹³They brought to the Pharisees him that aforetime was blind.

 ¹⁴And it was the sabbath day when Jesus made the clay, and opened his eyes.

 ¹⁵Then again the Pharisees also asked him how he had received his sight. He said unto them, He put clay upon mine eyes, and I washed, and do see.

 ¹⁶Therefore said some of the Pharisees, This man is not of God, because he keepeth not the sabbath day. Others said, How can a man that is a sinner do such miracles? And there was a division among them.

 ¹⁷They say unto the blind man again, What sayest thou of him, that he hath opened thine eyes? He said, He is a prophet.

 ¹⁸But the Jews did not believe concerning him, that he had been blind, and received his sight, until they called the parents of him that had received his sight.

 ¹⁹And they asked them, saying, Is this your son, who ye say was born blind? how then doth he now see?

 ²⁰His parents answered them and said, We know that this is our son, and that he was born blind:

 ²¹But by what means he now seeth, we know not; or who hath opened his eyes, we know not: he is of age; ask him: he shall speak for himself.

 ²²These words spake his parents, because they feared the Jews: for the Jews had agreed already, that if any man did confess that he was Christ, he should be put out of the synagogue.

 ²³Therefore said his parents, He is of age; ask him.

 ²⁴Then again called they the man that was blind, and said unto him, Give God the praise: we know that this man is a sinner.

 ²⁵He answered and said, Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not: one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see.

 ²⁶Then said they to him again, What did he to thee? how opened he thine eyes?

 ²⁷He answered them, I have told you already, and ye did not hear: wherefore would ye hear it again? will ye also be his disciples?

 ²⁸Then they reviled him, and said, Thou art his disciple; but we are Moses’ disciples.

 ²⁹We know that God spake unto Moses: as for this fellow, we know not from whence he is.

 ³⁰The man answered and said unto them, Why herein is a marvellous thing, that ye know not from whence he is, and yet he hath opened mine eyes.

 ³¹Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.

 ³²Since the world began was it not heard that any man opened the eyes of one that was born blind.

 ³³If this man were not of God, he could do nothing.

 ³⁴They answered and said unto him, Thou wast altogether born in sins, and dost thou teach us? And they cast him out.

 ³⁵Jesus heard that they had cast him out; and when he had found him, he said unto him, Dost thou believe on the Son of God?

 ³⁶He answered and said, Who is he, Lord, that I might believe on him?

 ³⁷And Jesus said unto him, Thou hast both seen him, and it is he that talketh with thee.

 ³⁸And he said, Lord, I believe. And he worshipped him.

 ³⁹And Jesus said, For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not might see; and that they which see might be made blind.

 ⁴⁰And some of the Pharisees which were with him heard these words, and said unto him, Are we blind also?

 ⁴¹Jesus said unto them, If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We see; therefore your sin remaineth.

 

Cody.

Cody, from As Cities Burn.